AGGGHHH I’m Just So Tired of Everything

Written By Angela Johnston

That’s the theme I’m hearing. People are tired. Tired of Covid. Tired of social injustices. Tired of politics. Tired of Division. Collectively, we are feeling blahhh.Let me offer a poorly thought-out analogy to help explain why we are so tired, and what we can do to recover… let’s imagine that people are like icebergs. And as most of us know, 90% of icebergs are below the surface. Which means that the tips of the icebergs that are above water seem far apart from other icebergs.Now, consider that what we share with each other, what we see on social media, headlines that capture our attention, and the vast majority of most of our relationships operate above the water on that iceberg tip.First of all, it would appear that we are far apart and would have to be loud, obnoxious, or extremely sophisticated to capture the attention of other iceberg tips. Especially trying to capture the attention of MANY icebergs. EXHAUSTING.Second, it appears that our perspectives are far apart. DIVISION.The global covid crisis grabbed the entire planet’s attention. In a big way. And then one disaster, after tragedy, after conflict, and rather than feeling unified, our opinions and beliefs seem so divided. It’s too much!

But it doesn't have to stay this way

This past weekend I attended a small outdoor gathering. As we stood around a fire and shared stories, a common theme emerged.Each time the theme was noticed, someone was compelled to look up at the sky in frustration/desperation and utter a heart felt groan, UUUUGGGHHH.The theme was not so much the topic of the conversation, but the relationship that topic has in our lives.We were gathered to celebrate a successfully defended thesis. Someone asked the researcher to explain his thesis to us, and as he began, his closest supporter offered up a friendly look-to-the-heavens UUUGGGHHH. It was a clear indication that this topic had been covered extensively throughout their relationship. UUUUGGGHHH, it's too much!My life partner quickly followed suit when the conversation turned to the topic of my work with Priority Kids.‘uuuuugggghhhh’ child sexual abuse again!We took turns, and laughed heartily anytime someone felt that the topic of conversation was a source of ‘too much’.There are no female coaches for any of the sports teams at the local school.‘uuuuuuugggghhhh’ gender inequity again!Trump and the American election.Uuuugggghhhh!We were able to laugh and enjoy the night of sharing what is often ‘too much’ in our lives.On social media, there isn’t a lot of laughing (lol’s don’t count unless you actually lol’d), but there sure is a lot of ‘too much’.So let’s get back to those icebergs that don’t get to stand outside by a fire having a good time.Above the water, we seem so far apart. It is exhausting trying to send messages back and forth. Also, it is ineffective… it’s hard to send a clear message over that great distance with all the noisy distractions (like blowing wind and crashing waves)…But those iceberg tips aren’t the whole iceberg. Remember, 90% is below the water.First, it is quieter below the water. There is less wind and crashing waves to obstruct our messages.Second, there is so much more to see and understand about that iceberg than what we see above the surface. So much more.Deep relationships, deep understanding, and deep connectivity is below the surface.Taking the plunge and discovering more about ourselves and others is a generous and kind way to help each other overcome this exhausted feeling that,

Uggghhh it's too much!

Because it is too much. Social media allows us to have surface connections with many people, and these surface connections have become the norm.We are exhausted trying to connect across the vast distance of the sea/internet about topics that require deeper reflection. We feel divided because what we see on the surface is disparate and often hurtful.

SOLUTION

It’s time to revisit the essential skill of listening. A skill that most of us have not received proper training to master. An overlooked super power that all of us can master.Listening is a gift that helps the speaker better understand their own thoughts and beliefs. Listening is a selfless act that can help the speaker transform their world view.Because what we share on the surface often lacks deep thinking or insight. Our quick responses and fast typing can happen in an ‘auto-pilot’ state. What we all need is for someone to help us to think deeply about what we say, do or believe.At Priority Kids, we know that learning how to listen well is an important skill that adults must acquire in order to protect children from sexual abuse.

Studies show that fewer than 10% of sexually abused children ever tell

But perhaps this fact could be challenged. Perhaps children are trying to tell, but they aren’t being heard.To help combat the social fatigue that we see occurring, and to strengthen the listening skills that kids need us to have, Priority Kids will be spending the month of November focusing on LISTENING SKILLS.We will be reflecting on Active Listening and Road Blocks, and we will be Practicing Listening in a meaningful way.When we listen meaningfully, we let go of the burden and responsibility of trying to change others, and instead support each other in personal growth that allows us to be changed from within.Have you spent time learning about listening? Have you intentionally put listening into practice? How did you learn to strengthen your listening skills? What resources helped you deepen your listening skills? What impact has intentional listening had in your life?

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Angela Johnston
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