That Coach is not Safe

Yesterday I was in the parking lot at my local high school waiting to pick up my child and get the heck out of there before the bottle neck of traffic turns a 2 minute exit into 30 minutes of idling.

I had a quick chat with another parent who told me their child is playing on a sports team.

I didn't ask, but my passenger did. 'Who is coaching the team?'

The answer to the question was upsetting and led to us tell the parent,

'That coach is not safe'.

And then my child arrived and we made a run for it (successfully avoiding the bottleneck).

But I haven't been able to shake the frustration I feel knowing that I have failed to create change in my own community. My kids and their friends continue to be at risk.

I lost sleep last night and I am rattled today.

At Priority Kids we have a clear and simple process for helping organizations to develop and enrich their child sexual abuse prevention strategy. Our method is tested and proven effective.

When a sexual abuse prevention strategy is in place, parents are no longer required to stealthily pass along safety concerns in parking lot encounters.

This type of underground method of child protection is wholly ineffective.

I personally experienced and witnessed this coach's unsafe behaviour 3 years ago.

Whispers of the coach's unsafe habits reached me after the fact. Parents who have been ignored, and adults afraid of backlash have been quietly passing along their knowledge of this risky adult for years. Maybe decades.

I was anything but quiet about my concerns, which ultimately led to police intervention.

So I return to the USA gymnasts who have shone the spotlight on the institutional protection their abusive doctor benefited from. Adults who were privy to concerns but chose not to protect the athletes.

FBI agents who took it upon themselves to dismiss, minimize and ignore the athletes.

Indigenous children taken to unsafe institutions where their lives were taken while we were taught to ignore and disbelieve their cries for help.

And today we continue to protect abusers because most of us do not know what to do when we encounter red flags.

And the few of us who do recognize risky behaviour are not supported when we come forward. The personal risk that adults face when they speak up are real.

Isolation.

Loss of community.

Lack of respect.

Today I need to do a little extra self-care. Because I am personally affected.

But I will be okay, because I know what I need to do.

I will continue to help organizations (the ones that want to keep kids safe) to develop and enrich their sexual abuse prevention strategies.

As organizations strengthen their strategies we will see more examples of people who are able to effectively respond to concerns, and more adults will be trained to take action to keep kids safe.

Sure, I'd like us to be farther along than we are. Don't we all wish that things were a little more just in the world?

But this is where we are. And you are invited to help us all take a step towards better protecting children.

Join us in our effort to eradicate child sexual abuse. Sign up for our Prevention Gazette Newsletter to find out about upcoming events, opportunities and resources.